I don’t remember the arrival of Neal and his new family in Richland. From the photographic evidence, we were certainly there at my grandparents house to greet them, as why wouldn’t we be? I simply don’t remember it. In January 1954 I was four years old, a few months from becoming five, so that’s no big surprise. I do have a few memories from that early age, but the arrival of new relatives was probably no big thing as far as I was concerned. A new uncle meant I’d be getting one more gift at Christmastime and birthdays, and a new cousin close to my age meant a new playmate, which was great as I didn’t have many of those.

So I can’t relate much from my memory about Kathy’ s early years. Did she speak English well when she came arrived? I don’t know, but if she didn’t, she certainly picked it up quickly, as I don’t recall having any communication problems with her.

I remember the lollipop near their house when we went to visit them, but I didn’t remember where that was until Kathy recently told my sister that that was in Hummelstown.

There are a few photos of these early days, but I don’t recall them. I simply know that Kathy and I got along very well from the start.

There is that incident on the farm where Kathy and I were looking after my younger sister who slipped away from us when we weren’t looking. I wrote about it in The Farm Can Be Dangerous. As I said, I don’t remember that, I’ve simply been told about it.

But I do remember that even early on I thought of Kathy as a confidante. Probably my earliest memory of her, and I didn’t even realize this until I thought about writing this post, was when I started having my doubts about religion. I wrote about my doubts here.

I guess this would have been when I was about seven years old. The idea that God explained everything was an explanation that didn’t explain anything as far as I was concerned. Somehow I knew better than to talk about it to any of my classmates, probably because of the reactions I got when I broached the subject with my parents or other relatives, but I felt ok talking about it to Kathy. She didn’t have any answers for me, but she didn’t brush me off the way the grownups did.

By the way, although Kathy would sometimes mention the kids downstairs, Marcella McGee and brother Billy, she never mentioned how they harassed her. I didn’t find that out until years later when my mother told me. I had always assumed that Neal told my mother, but now I suspect that it was Joan who relayed it to her.

Then somewhere along the line, Neal started having to move for his job. I’m not clear on whether he got new jobs or promotions in the same company, I know that he did end up working in a computer company and I recall that he was always good with numbers. But as to the specifics of his jobs, I think I knew them at one time, but I’ve forgotten them now.

The first place they moved was Watertown, New York. I remember Kathy telling me all about the joys of Lake Ontario, but the weekend that we went to visit was cloudy and rainy, so we couldn’t spend any time enjoying Lake Ontario. I wrote briefly about that visit here.

Then they spent a couple years on the other side of the country in Coos Bay, Oregon. That was too far for us to visit, but I remember when the family gathered at my grandparents on Christmas Eve and a call was placed. We had to wait as one operator would relay the call to exchange after exchange and then tell us that the exchanges were busy, could we try later. We’d finally get through sometime around midnight but there were so many of us and long distance calls were so relatively expensive in those days that when the phone was finally handed to me all Kathy and I could do was exchange a couple “hellos” and “can’t wait to see you agains”. Or something like that.

Then Downingtown, PA, and Dayton, OH, and finally they were back in Richland just as the brand new Elco school opened in 1962. Kathy got to see her friend Ellen again, I got to ooh and ah about the size of the new school, and Kathy told me how tiny it was compared to some of the really giant schools she had been to.

But they didn’t remain very long in Richland before Neal was re-assigned—this time permanently—and they moved to Oxenhill, Maryland.

After that Kathy and I exchanged letters, and they’d come for long visits around the holidays and we’d go down for a week during the summer.

During those years, I always thought of Kathy as fun to be around and yet someone that I could have a serious conversation with. In 1964 we were both big supporters of Goldwater for president and we came to that support independently of each other. Over time we have both changed our political views somewhat and I think we’re still reasonably in sync with each other.

Then Kathy began college, met Gary Gosnell, and their wedding was set for December 7, 1968 to commemorate Pearl Harbor Day.

I was an usher, so I went down a few days early for the rehearsal, as I was on a break from Penn State. The night before the wedding, I was playing cards with Kathy and her parents, and Fumiko and I were drinking peppermint schnapps—don’t ask me why.

I still remember Fumiko pouring those drinks, one for her and one for me, and going bottoms up. We both got smashed but we had a lot of fun.

Kathy and Gary got married the following day without a hitch. I recall nothing about the wedding itself, but I remember meeting their friends at the reception, which was held at Neal and Fumiko’s house, and I had a lot of fun there as well.

I never got to know Gary very well, but the few times I met him he seemed to embody the phrase a gentleman and a scholar (with a dash of sly humor) quite well.

Yes, I write about Gary in the past tense.

Kathy and Gary had a child, Chris, and they got divorced, then they got back together and re-married. They had their own little soap opera going for awhile, but I think they were mostly very happy together.

Until Gary was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 2019. If I recall correctly, he was scheduled to enter the hospital the following day for surgery, but that evening he had an attack and Kathy frantically tried save him while calling for help, but to no avail.

I most recently wrote about Kathy as part of the Raging Grannies, including a video.