I wasn’t planning on learning to tap yesterday, but then one of the lenses on my computer glasses popped out.

I had been thinking of getting new ones anyway, and when I couldn’t get the lens to stay in, I decided to head on over to the other side of town, well, the other side of Broad Street, to Snyder Opticians, to see if they could repair the old glasses while I ordered a new pair.

I didn’t feel like walking all that way, so this seemed like a good opportunity to finally try out my Septa card and take a bus ride for the first time in perhaps ten years.

That meant I’d finally get a chance to tap the Septa card, which gives me, as a senior citizen, free rides.

As I needed to get some things from the Acme, I decided to take along my backpack to make shopping on my way home a bit easier—I wouldn’t need to use their bags.

So I put the ailing computer glasses into a case and checked the Septa app for the bus schedule and after getting warmly dressed to brave the elements, I was on my way.

I didn’t have long to wait for the bus, but when it arrived I kept tapping the Septa card at all the wrong places, until the driver pointed to the gizmo that said something like “Tap here, you dummy!” You also have to actually hold the card in place for a couple seconds until it makes an unearthly noise. I explained to the driver that this was my first time tapping, as if he couldn’t figure that out for himself, and then I took one of the seats reserved for priority passengers.

Hey! I’m a senior citizen, so I qualify.

I got off at Walnut and just missed the crosstown bus, so I began walking. As usually happens in these situations, I walked the entire way to 17th Street before another bus came along. Oh, well.

During the walk, I realized two things.

1) I had forgotten to strap on my backpack, which meant that I wouldn’t be stopping at Acme on the way back unless I wanted to pay a nickel each for their bags, and 

2) I had forgotten to bring the old computer glasses which were the reason for the trip to begin with.

As the old proverb says, if my head weren’t attached… 

Anyway, I made it to Snyder Opticians and explained my problem, and quickly picked out a new style of computer glasses. They initially offered me the same style that I had before, but I said that as I now made a few FaceTime calls from time to time, perhaps something more stylish and hip might be in order, as long as they didn’t break the bank. We settled on a style that merely bent the bank a bit.

As I had forgotten to bring in the old glasses, which I had hoped they could repair (they said that they could, that I probably had a screw loose—they’re probably right about that), I asked if they could put a rush on the new ones. If I didn’t hear from them by Friday, I should give them a call; I said if I didn’t hear from them by Friday, I’d be back so they could repair my old ones.

And I was on my way.

To tap again. After all, I’m an old pro at tapping, gently rapping, tapping on the Septa door. Only me and nothing more.