I Don’t Forking Believe This

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I like Apple products. In fact some Apple products I really love. Not that they’re all perfect, but I’m generally more than satisfied with their products and their service. Which is why I wasn’t prepared for this…

I have an iMac that I bought a couple years ago, and I made a big mistake when I bought it. I should have gotten an SSD drive. Instead I ordered a so-called Fusion drive. Without going into the technical details, the difference between the two is an SSD is much, much faster. I thought I’d be okay with a Fusion drive, but as it turned out, I what I saved in dollars, I’ve more than paid for in lost patience with some slow operations.

So I decided to go all out and get an iMac Pro, which is probably a bit more computer than I really need, but it should also last longer than my normal three year upgrade cycles. I also decided to wait until the start of the credit card’s new billing cycle, Saturday April 6, in order to give me the maximum amount of time before having to pay it off.

The last few times I’ve upgraded my system, I used Apple’s Migration Utility to pull all my apps and data from the old system onto the new one, but that also meant I was pulling a lot of cruft from long since discontinued apps, so this time I decided to install all the apps from scratch. While waiting for Saturday to arrive, I collected all the installation files, gathered all the preference files, and made plans for setting up the new system.

And today was the big day.

Right after breakfast I went to the Apple website, and since I already had the iMac Pro in my shopping cart, which Apple calls a Bag, I proceeded to checkout. I had been planning to opt to pick it up myself from the Apple Store on Walnut Street, but I saw that one of the delivery options was for a courier delivery between 10am and noon for $9. I reasoned that if I picked it up I would probably take a Lyft ride back from the store and that would cost about $9, so I chose the delivery option as the more convenient.

Then I typed in the 16 character codes for the four $25 gift certificates that I had accumulated, and I was just about to hit Buy—

When I realized that I had forgotten to make arrangements for Apple to buy back my current iMac. That had to be done at the start of the process, so I removed the iMac Pro from my shopping cart, sorry Bag, and started the process all over. [sigh]

When the web page asked me for the particulars on my current iMac, it didn’t recognize the serial number, so I had to type in the details. Just to make sure I got them correct, I opened the “About This Mac” app, and when I selected the Storage tab, the system froze. Grrr! That’s why I want to upgrade the damn thing to begin with! The freeze out lasted a minute or so, and then all was well, and I resumed the ordering process. Apple offered me $900 to buy back my current iMac.

Once again I opted for the courier delivery, and I had to retype the 16 character codes for the four gift certificates. Note to self: next time you get gift certificates, store the codes in your notepad so you can copy and paste them!

This time I finished the process and the order went through!

When I checked on the progress of the order, it gave me an estimated delivery time of 10:46am. That was in a little over a half hour. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

I was about to toss the gift certificates, when a little voice whispered, “Not until you have the iMac Pro in your grubby little hands.” Sage advice.

I saw that the courier driver now had a name and a phone number. The estimated delivery time fluctuated a bit, but finally seemed to settle down to 10:56.

Then at 10:44 I received a text from the courier driver’s phone:

“I have a family emergency I will take your stuff back to the store sorry for the inconvenience“

Without really thinking, I texted back: “You’re closer to me than to the store“

To which he replied: “I know but my son is in the hospital sir“

And I countered with: “I mean it would be faster to drop it off with me than to go back to the store“

His final text to me was: “I’m not going to the store now I’m rushing to my son sir“

And that was followed almost immediately by a text from Apple congratulating me that my iMac Pro had just been delivered!

Can I just say that I’m not unsympathetic to the driver’s genuine distress at whatever it was that had happened to his son? And yes, I do comprehend that he is having a far worse day than I am having.

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Joey TribbianiJoey Tribbiani

Joey Tribbiani

But, and here you might want to imagine the voice of Joey Tribbiani when I say: “What about my iMac Pro!”

I learned a long time ago that there’s nobody in this miserable world that I can rely on for anything. If I want something done, I have to forking do it myself.

So I got on the phone with Apple support and explained the situation. Long story short: the best they could offer me is UPS delivery sometime next week, maybe by Tuesday, after they verify the facts. I was not a happy camper.

So I went to the Apple Store and showed them the texts. A fellow there, who was not unsympathetic, said the only time something like this had ever happened before was when the driver was involved in a crash. There were two Apple support people working on it for about half an hour, and the upshot is that it won’t be resolved until sometime next week.

Maybe by Tuesday.

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