Bromance: a very close and non-sexual relationship between two men.

I’ve often thought about trying to write a continuous narrative about my first year at Penn State, because I remember so many things about that year. But when I try to organize them in my mind, I can’t figure out just when certain things might have happened or what action might have precipitated which reaction. It’s all so jumbled in my head. I suspect if I ever did try to organize it into some coherent story, I’d get it all wrong, because reality just isn’t as tidy as we’d like it to be.

I remember that when I arrived at Penn State I expected to be surrounded by lots of folks who were smarter than I was, and my first disappointment was discovering that as far as intelligence went, they were pretty much the same as the folks back at Elco High, no more, no less. I swear there were some guys there I couldn’t figure out how they had ever qualified to get into college.

But still, I was enjoying meeting people from somewhat different backgrounds, many of them from the urban areas of the state. There were some who seemed to be, if not more intelligent, at least thoroughly well-read in their chosen fields. Like history major Ed Stutz.

Ed and I hit it off early on and we’d often get into discussions on history, which he seemed to know backwards and forwards. He often mentioned how the repercussions from the French Revolution were still being felt in the modern world, and he was also a big fan of the philosopher Albert Camus, whom he quoted frequently.

That first year was my best year academically although I had my ups and downs. For example, in winter term I took BiSci 1, expecting I could breeze through it because I had had such a good grounding in biology in high school, and this was just a survey course, with no labs or dissections. Well, I was wrong. I hadn’t allowed for the fact that biology was advancing extremely rapidly, and a lot of what I had learned three years previously was already way out of date. Plus, I had forgotten more than I realized. I still remember that course; it was just a straight lecture in a large auditorium, and I ended up getting a C. Which must have been a wakeup call because in spring term I took BiSci 2 and got an A—even though I don’t recall that second course at all.

Anyway, the point is I was enjoying my time at Penn State, and when Ed mentioned that he was planning to enroll for the summer term and was looking for a roommate, I jumped at the chance and volunteered.

Meanwhile, Ed and my roommate Dave DeTullio had been forming what in later years would be called a bromance. It was odd because they really didn’t have much, if anything, in common. But there it was. They became best buddies, and would give each other a big hug whenever they saw each other in the dorm.

I emphasize that this was a bromance. To the best of my knowledge, and I knew both of them quite well, neither of them had a gay bone in his body. 

Dave, as I’ve mentioned previously, was pledging at the Lambda Chi fraternity, and one day when Ed was in our room Dave mentioned that the frat house basically closed down for the summer, but they needed a few people to stay there merely to keep an eye on things. Dave was planning to do so and all he’d have to pay was the cost of his meals (or something like that; the cost was minimal whatever it was). He was also allowed to bring in one outside friend for the same or similar deal.

Ed jumped at the chance, seemingly forgetting that he and I had already talked about rooming together over the summer. I couldn’t blame him wanting take the opportunity that Dave offered, but as I was right there in the room, I thought he at least could have looked over and said something like, “Sorry, Jim, but this is a deal that I just can’t pass up.” 

But nothing.

Needless to say I was pissed and hurt.

When I said something to him later, he claimed that he didn’t think that he and I had any kind of definite agreement.

And he was right.

Moreover, realistically there was no way that I could have financially handled the summer term. The loan that I depended on just covered the three regular terms. Plus, a summer job would be helpful. So I couldn’t have swung a summer term anyway. 

Then came the curious incident of Ed in the night at the frat house.

The details are hazy, mainly because I never really did get a clear explanation of exactly what happened, but the upshot was that Ed was banned from the fraternity. So he didn’t get to spend summer term at a rock bottom rent.

As best as I can reconstruct what happened, there was a party at Lambda Chi, as there always was on a Saturday night, and of course Dave, being a pledge, not yet a full brother, or whatever, was there.

At some point Ed showed up, apparently drunk out of his gourd. I don’t know what the problem was, but it was probably something to do with his date that night, and he presumably had come to see Dave to get advice or maybe simply to cry on his shoulder. But being several sheets to the wind, Ed must not have quite realized that he and Dave were not in a dorm room and that hugging his good friend and crying on his shoulder, or whatever it was he did, might be misconstrued by Dave’s frat brothers.

In any case Ed was ushered out the door and Dave was told in no uncertain terms that, hey, we know you, and we know that you’re ok, but we don’t want your fag friend to ever come around here ever again. Got it?

I had figured out during my first week or so at Penn State that fraternities were not something that held any interest for me, and I often made snide comments about them and the nonsense that Dave had to go through as a pledge. This incident tended to reinforce my low opinion of frat rats.