There’s something that Graham Norton and I have in common. We each hate it when someone tells us to smile.

Thankfully it hasn’t happened to me recently, because now I would most likely growl at anyone who had the temerity to say that to me, but it used to occur on a semi-regular basis years ago.

Sometimes somebody at work would say it to me, which was annoying, but at times total strangers would utter it as I was walking along the street, which was infuriating. They don’t know me. They don’t know my situation. How dare they address me in the imperative mood and order me to arrange my facial muscles into a rictus.

I mean what if my mother had just died, or some equally tragic circumstance? They don’t know my situation.

But the time when it irked me the most was when I was in arguably one the best moods of my life. I had just received word that the condo, which I had had on the market for two years and that I was taking a loss on by renting it out, had finally found a buyer for slightly higher than my asking price.

I was ecstatic and had gone out simply to enjoy the fresh air and bask in the atmosphere with my fellow humans, and some ass wipe had the gall to utter that word: “Smile!”

It totally broke my mood.

Meanwhile, I’ll direct you to that episode of Wanging On where Graham talks about hating when people do that to him. It’s a funny episode: