How to Get Free Money!


Want to get a $20 gift card?

All you need to do is contribute $1 to to Doug Burgum’s presidential campaign!

You see, the way this works is Doug (may I call him Doug?) wants to qualify for the Republican presidential debates. One of the qualifications is that he needs to get “donations from at least 40,000 individuals, with at least 200 from each of 20 states or territories.” 

Well, he figures he doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of doing that (do you, Doug?) because, I mean, have you even heard of Doug Burgum? He’s the governor of North Dakota. That’s the state due north of South Dakota, the one with Mount Rushmore.

So he’s hit upon this scheme to give $20 gift cards to the first 50,000 folks who contribute even one buck to his loser campaign.

That’s $19 in free money by my calculator.

I say go for it!

Not only do you get some free money, but you get the satisfaction of knowing that you helped to fill the Republican debate stage with another losing candidate on the way to once again picking Donald Trump as their standard bearer for the 2024 presidential campaign.

You see, it was because there was such a crowded field of candidates in 2016 that the party couldn’t coalesce around a single sane candidate, and apparently they haven’t learned anything since then. As I often say, today’s Republicans are stupid.

You can regard today’s post as an addendum to yesterday’s This Week in GOP.

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